The Enigmatic Ella

A chick with a thing for the weird, people have many myths about Ella and her origins. Some say she is from an alternate/higher dimension, and claim her to be the leader of a new age of poop and dildos. Others believe that Ella was born from the fusion of the remnants of a dildo-shaped planet, which should be theoretically impossible according to the laws of physics, but who gives a fuck about that. Although people have many beliefs about Ella's origins, everybody can agree on one thing; Ella is dangerous. A woman capable of seducing anyone she wishes to, she is also able to use sorcery and summon a vast variety of dildo-related weapons.

Ella's known weapons and tools:
 * Magical lightsabre dildo
 * Laser Dildo Rifle
 * Dildo launcher
 * Dildo-mobile
 * Dildo shield

Ella's relationships: Captain Jackie of the Sails of Patchwork has recruited Ella as a member of the crew on 29/03/2015. Avoid the poop, if possible.
 * Ashley (mistress)
 * Sasha (mistress)
 * Maria (mistress)
 * Dumb Slutface (wife)
 * n00b (husband)
 * Cerberus (?)
 * The Pimp (employer)
 * Zardoz (girlfriend?)
 * Captain Jackie (wife)